{"id":7076,"date":"2017-06-22T14:00:58","date_gmt":"2017-06-22T21:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/oureveryday.life\/?p=7076"},"modified":"2017-06-25T16:12:39","modified_gmt":"2017-06-25T23:12:39","slug":"how-to-take-over-the-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/oureveryday.life\/en\/2017\/06\/how-to-take-over-the-world\/","title":{"rendered":"How to take over the wor.. I mean, how to survive 8th Grade"},"content":{"rendered":"

Taking over the world is a simple task when you think about it. Here, at Evergreen, the teachers know exactly how to do it. They also try to destroy you in the process, because they all would like to have the whole world to themselves, and not have to share it with all of us.<\/p>\n

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However, if you take the correct precautions, and keep your world domination plans under the radar, you can learn all the tips and tricks to becoming the perfect ruler. No, not the math tool, silly! The one person who controls everything. Anyway, you must study your textbooks and notes very carefully, because every one of them has a secret coded section that will reveal itself after you do well on your test. This code will bring you one step closer to your goal.<\/p>\n

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Another thing to do is to pay close attention to your teachers, because they are experts in taking over the world, and slip information about it into all of their lessons. The teacher of Arts of the Language for example, mentioned how to poison your enemies. He did not mean to reveal this information, but a careful listener could pick it up with ease.<\/p>\n

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To help you in your task of controlling the world, you\u2019ll need some minions- I mean friends. To gain these min<\/del> friends, mind control them. That is the easiest route. The longer way is to develop bonds and share interests, but mind-control is much more entertaining.<\/p>\n

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There are also certain things you should avoid doing. For example, whenever heading to your next class, make sure that you did not accidentally lock your notes(on world domination, what else would you take notes on?) in the metal bunker your backpack hides in all day. If you did happen to forget them, walk calmly back to the bunker, because if you run, the Fury of the Murray will descend upon you, and ruin your plans.<\/p>\n

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Make sure to not procrastinate, for every minute you spend not doing your work, you waste a minute of plotting to take over the world! And this time is very valuable, because all good and effective plans take time to develop, and you aren\u2019t the only one attempting to rule the world. If you sit around waiting, there\u2019ll be a long line of competition. Also, make sure to not be rude to your fellow classmates and students, because that will develop enemies, and these enemies can later destroy your career as World Dominator Supreme.<\/p>\n

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The most handy tool to have during this time is a multi purpose one. It is helpful in making noise, annoying the teachers, which you should avoid doing, or they will use the power of the Homework. It is also helpful in picking locks, if sharp enough, and it\u2019s primary purpose is writing down new ideas and alternate plans for taking over the world. Yes, it\u2019s a pencil. Did you expect a deathray?<\/p>\n

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In order to protect yourself from the death ray laser glares of all the teachers, always wear your standard-issue bulletproof vest. Since bulletproof vests do not come in forms of short skirts and tank tops, avoid wearing those. They will do nothing to protect you from the lasers.<\/p>\n

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The moment to look forward to in the study to become Ruler of the World, is the archery unit. There they will teach you how to properly shoot a bow, and perhaps even give you some power and HP boosts along the way. This will later help you accurately eliminate all competition and rise to power.<\/p>\n

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Now, go, take over the world! Actually, don\u2019t because IT\u2019S MINE<\/strong>!!!<\/p>\n

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Taking over the world is a simple task when you think about it. Here, at Evergreen, the teachers know exactly how to do it. They also try to destroy you in the process, because they all would like to have… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":7094,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[156],"class_list":["post-7076","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-home","tag-school"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/oureveryday.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7076","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/oureveryday.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/oureveryday.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oureveryday.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oureveryday.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7076"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/oureveryday.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7076\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oureveryday.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7094"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/oureveryday.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7076"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oureveryday.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7076"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oureveryday.life\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7076"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}